when it rains...

this week has been filled with bad news. Church members who have died, family who is close to death, and more family with "one thing after another" kind of news.

When it rains, it pours.

Sometimes it seems that life, both good and bad, comes in waves. I am reminded that God is faithful, and present, and alive in the midst all of it.

Last week at the end of the Nicodemus Project, someone wrote the question "Why do we feel so far from God sometimes?"

Here is what I know to be true, even though at times, I know it only in my head and not in my heart. And for lack of a better way to say it, I will say it bluntly:

god is there...you are the problem...

in those times we are feeling far away, or even when we feel realy close, it is our awareness that is what is changing, not God.

I know that is hard to hear, it is hard to say.

Sometimes matters of faith are hard...that is what makes it faith.

shhh...I am a.....

Many who know me well know that I am a ninja. I am not deep uncover like most ninjas, mostly because of my catlike reflexes and quick "ninja-style" moves often get me asked if I am a ninja. And since ninjas do not lie, I openly tell people that I am, in fact, a ninja.

I cannot however, accept any blame for this.

great weekend!

wanted to give a quick shout out to all the Cantate (youth choir) kids who made this weekend awesome for me. It was great to get to know you all a little better and begin to build some relationships with you.

I am tired and refreshed all at the same time

Also, a quick shout out to Kevin H for an awesome job leading us! It was a productive and spirit filled time. A unique combination of elements that is frankly, pretty hard to pull off!

a few more shout outs...

to Dex and Sarah H who got me "elected" as one of the mid-winter directors this year...guess that means you all should go!

More blogging later...now I need to get 400 postcards out!

signs, signs, everywhere the signs...

A couple of years ago, a friend of mine in the UCC church was one of the young adults spearheading a campaign for the UCC church, and thier "slogan" or tagline was:

"god is still speaking"

A group of us got into a discussion about this late one night. We all believed that in fact, God was still speaking, when someone posed possibly a more important questions, which was "then why aren't people listening"...

this is when the conversation got good....

After many hours (drifting well into the next morning) of conversations about

"what does the voice of God sound like" (to which there were 7 (out of 7) different opinions),

"people are too busy",

"people have not been 'trained' how to listen",

"people don't want to listen (especially men)", (to which I took great offense)

"people think they can hear it, but it is not a 'clear calling' (all 7 of us could site examples of clergy that should not be in ministry...)

but in the end, the thing that veryone settled on as the most common reason, is that people are too concerned with the "whoa" factor. Skeptics want to write things off as a coincidence, and even people of faith have moments of doubt (which personally I think a pinch of doubt makes faith all the more stronger and causes you to dig deeper) in the "voice"...

In my daily life, I think there is a "still, small voice" - sometimes not in my ear...

Today was one of those days when the "small voice" turned into a "oh yeah, I am pretty serious" voice...

god is good...

This is the Word of The Lord...

While for the most part, it was great (great numbers, good response from a bunch of kids, new folks, etc) last night was tough for me. we had some really disrespectful kids (talking while others were talking, not paying attention, not participating) and was bummed all night and this morning - having a hard time getting motiviated for this week and really struggling with what to do...

then I read in Matthew (12:48) "great gifts mean great responsibilities, greater gifts mean greater responsibility" - God has this amazing sense of humor, and timing, and has a clear reason and way to focus me...

...what an amazing responsibility we have (you and me) to share our gifts because they are great gifts! Keep working at it!

as my friend Joe just reminded me - stay with the system! (I choose to operate in the "God loves you" system) The "If you build it, they will come", "marathon not a sprint", "seed planting" business is a good business to be in, just need a reminder from time to time of what I really do...

what is sacred?

I started reading "Practicing Passion" by kenda Creasy Dean. She is the same author that wrote "The Godbearing Life" - a truly life changing book for me.

In her introduction and in the first chapter, she is exploring what it means to be a passionate church and how to free youth (really free adults to let youth do what is natural for them) to be passionate. This got me thinking....

I started thinking about what is sacred in my life? So I posed the question to the youth of Suncreek last night. The answers I got last night were very interesting. A wide reange of things that they hold sacred. Thought you want to know what things the "youth of today" hold sacred:

God
Family
Friends
True love
Me
A promise
Freedom
Love
Trust
Time with family
Christmas
Friendships
Faith
The time I get to spend with my family at church and at other places
The time I get to be with god
The lives of my friends and family
God & Jesus
My church
My life
My cross country team
Time spent with my family, team, friends, and boyfriend
Companionships
Natural beauty
Laughter
Moments of stillnessmy time with God
Future
Trust
My time with cantate and youth
My time with my music
life
Happiness
Good health
Safety
Time
Time for living
Performance jitters
Laughing
People who make you feel beautiful
Rain
time with distant relatives
my life and Christ in my life
camp BridgeportFor kary and Brittany and a the church members at Suncreek church, for all the joy and compassion they bring to me
teaching
confidence
prayer
opinions
Bible
Convictions
Smiles
Contact
Birthdays
Responsibility
My dog
Theater
Nature
The picture of my brother
Gods love
Animals
The cross
Dance
Worship
My parents
Happiness/joy
Art/creativity
My inmost calm

Backsliding - "W-W-A-T"

I have a confession...today I cheated on my hair stylist....

The prologue: I have been a "as cheap as I can" haircut guy for a long time...well, all my life. I can remember my mom 1) cutting my hair herself 2)visiting the beauty school for our haircuts and 3)taking us RIOS 5.95 goldencuts

needless to say, getting a "good haircut" was never high on my priority list....

I would consider it a good day when I walked out of fantastic sams and didn't look ridiculous...$11 well spent!

Then I met Ashley....

Ashley is this awesome woman who was spunky, and fun, and gave a darn good haircut...she was (see prologue) MUCH more expensive than I was used to...but it was worth every penny, because everytime I walked out, I loved my haircut (plus she was the best shampooer ever!)

the problem...now in order to get in with her I would have to drive 4 hours each way (something that is still not out of the realm of possibility in my head).

So to save some gas, and because I don't know where to get my haircut in Allen (or Plano/Mckinney/Frisco), I went on the recommendation of a certain "funny" friend and went to Sportclips this morning.
Sportclips' idea is that guys want to watch sports while getting a hair cut (also a face wrap and a massage)...and in case you are in the market for various pro and college team souvenirs, Sportclips has you covered there as well. My nameless "funny" friend had gone a few months ago and told me it was cool. Not wanting to have to go back to my old ways of cheap haircuts, I never went...

My stylist was ok at best. She was one of those..."she just kept cutting" stylist, and now my hair is a few inches shorter than I wanted.

SIDENOTE: I have a thing about my ears....it wouldn't take a psychologist to figure out that it stems from my years as a child of invasive ear procedures.... please don't touch my ears and NEVER let water get in my ears...

The shampoo experience was terrible....when my 2 year old pretends to wash my hair, he does a better job....she let the water run all over my ears....plefg!
The towel wrap on my face was a bizarre experience because she "massaged" my face as well - it kind of felt like someone was dancing with their fingers on my towel wrapped face.

during this whole experience, I just kept thinking...W-W-A-T
"What Would Ashley Think?"

I would like to publically apologize to Ashley for backsliding into a cheap haircut....
let it never happen again...

my job

I love epiphanies....in the middle of the everyday moments, those moments of clarity or insight that just appear...

I had a good one today....and it seems kind of trivial now that I am back at my desk...but here it is...

I was walking out of the main building today headed over to my office - I got outside - felt the beautiful north Texas fall afternoon - and for some reason realized...

I LOVE MY JOB!

Not JUST my new job, but I love what I do. I love being creative and organized all at the same time, I love planting seeds and watching them grow, I love knowing what I do changes people.
This may sound contrite or conceded, but believe me when I tell you - "this is not to say my job is better than your job" - this is just to say, I love my job!

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my new job...there is such excitement here and I know this is where God wants me to be. the people here are amazing and the youth have so much passion and enthusiasm. It is contagious really.

as I took a few more steps across the parking lot, I realized one of the things I love about my job, is I get to help youth (and adults?) find what they love to do...that is awesome.

I read a quote in Relevant magazine a few years ago, and have forgotten the authors name (if you are reading this, e-mail me and I will give you full credit, because it is a WONDERFUL quote) but it has stuck with me for years...

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs...
ask yourself what makes you come alive then go do that,
because the world needs people who have come alive."


go.......

the first post

I decided, on a whim, to start a blog...again.

I had one a few years ago, and decided to abandon it after a few months...you see there were 5 people reading it...seriously 5....and my mom and wife were 2 of them! So, I got tired of it..

BUT...

I AM BACK BABY!!

I don't really know what I am going to write about on here - except that I know I will be blogging more than Rob...

SIDENOTE: (Rob is a friend of mine from back home who's blog went dead for the summer...now he claims to be "back"....we will see) he also had a blog (including one that I was a contributor on after my blog died) once that has been since disbanned (he claimed for "server reasons" and I claim for "laziness reasons"). Rob is, outside of my brother, the funniest person I know and a very talented writer. he really should blog more and work less....

Anyway...all of this is to say....hi...thanks for checking out my blog.

now lets get to it!!